I will be honest, in my short time on earth, I’ve never really experienced debilitating disappointment. Of course I’ve had my share of not passing a test, not getting a job, not having things go as planned… all things that don’t really shake my foundation. You get up and move on. They test you, but they don’t force you to re-evaluate your whole identity. I was blessed with parents and teachers who always told me that with enough dedication, drive, and hard work you could achieve anything you set your mind to.
Well, today I learned that sometimes life can throw the hugest curve-balls and leave you bruised on the ground wondering where the hell that came from. Sure, there may have been some signs here and there, but you felt so sure. Everything seemed to be so right.
I literally have no tools in my coping tool kit for this. I know you are expected to keep moving forward and to brush yourself off, but nothing prepares you for how it feels.
Today, I watched my best friend be thrown off course for something so small and seemingly insignificant that it took my breath away. Like, “Are you serious? C’mon, we got this. We can fix this.” But the reply was no. It’s over. That ship has sailed, and there is nothing to do but accept it.
I mean, people have landed on the moon! How is this dream not going to happen? And then what do you tell yourself later. You can do anything in the world, except that one thing… and that other thing… and probably not that. It makes me genuinely angry, and I don’t get angry. It makes me want to rant (as you may be able to tell-haha!) and rave!
So, what do we do? Rant and rave. Breathe. Accept. Find new peace.
Because just like I didn’t know if I was strong enough to take this journey, I am. You have to be just as strong to let it go.
I still have my best friend, and we still have a beautiful life. We can never prepare for those curveballs but we can accept them. And I know that makes us stronger and I think they make us more beautiful.
The journey just continues!
***All images from Pinterest***