Lately my writing has been taken over by job applications, personal statements, and cover letters. I’ve been aching to find a moment for myself and write freely. I’ve undergone two job interviews now, applications to professional programs, and a multitude of the impersonal monotony that is online applications. Planning for the future and trying to stabilize my finances has been my first true taste of uncertainty of life after college. While I know every college graduate must experience these emotions, this past month has taken a toll on my motivation to write, as well as my overall well-being. But, of course, we all stubbornly keep on keeping on. That is the raw beauty of the human experience.
Perhaps that is why the blogging has gotten few and far between, but writing is still something I wake up wanting to do everyday. It is what drives me in searching for a job within the creative field whilst knowing the competition is fierce. It reminds me even if I don’t get a job I can dive into right away, my passion will be with me for the rest of my life. It isn’t just a career choice, it’s a lifestyle.
I began to think of ways that I could combat the constant stress levels from focusing too much on making a living and the needs of the future. These are very normal stressors of life, but they have been a new growing pain. Trying to keep my mind centered in the large spaces of free time quickly became a void where my ego would take over and start scrutinizing every aspect of my life. It’s a dangerous black hole my friends.
I started to step away from everything that just fed the anxiety and started embracing the moment again to the best of my ability. I feel like I preach that a lot on here (living in the moment), but if I could give any advice to anyone it would be that. As someone that has struggled with anxiety for the majority of her life, it’s the only thing that has ever helped me truly feel alive and well.
With that comes the importance of a happy place- one that allows you the freedom of just being there. While I know there is an incredible completeness to being able to be happy anywhere, I also know my own limitations right now. I needed to find my happy place.
While that oasis changes with each new town and time, it’s important to recognize those spaces. For me, right now, that is a little cabin by the river not too far from home….but just far enough.
I hope your happy place finds you soon if, like me, you are having a crazy start to the new year. And thanks to my Dad for letting us usurp the cabin whenever we want.
*All pictures and edits are my own.