It’s crazy to think I’ve been at this for four years.
I haven’t necessarily been your average blogger. I haven’t found one particular niche I could pigeon hole myself in and rock at. But that was never what this was about. It’s been a selfish outlet, but I hope some of it is entertaining– if not relatable.
In many ways, my blog was born out of the concept that my life was and is a crazy, beautiful mess– an all over the place rambling of a twenty-something that just happened to love writing at the heart of it all.
I remember my first post back when my blog wasn’t even public. I was fresh off the travel high of my first international trip, discovering that life was so much more than what I posted on Facebook or listed out on applications. I couldn’t define who I was in black in white terms anymore, and I couldn’t narrow down my existence to “college student” “psychology major” (which quickly changed anyway) or even “writer”. I had hopes, dreams, and more than anything, budding experiences outside of my comfort zone that has and does keep pushing me forward to some unknown future.
I don’t know what has compelled me to share this life or my all-over-the-place thoughts from how to workout with your significant other to my experience reading Shakespeare or how creative writing classes have both hindered and helped my creative process.
I’d like to think my blog is a canvas, and each post is a stroke that adds a new color and texture into who I’m becoming. That I’m not living in black and white. That no one lives in black and white.
That’s what motivates me to tell stories. To write this blog. To breathe deeply and believe that people are beautiful creatures and all this craziness is worth being a part of– no matter how minuscule.
It reminded me of a literary critique I wrote on the movie Paradise Now during my last semester of college. The movie was about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and essentially forced the audience to re-evaluate their beliefs on what it means to be human and to remember that behind everything you see on the news, there’s a deeper story that hardly ever gets told.
It was intense, but it was powerful. In writing the paper and just watching the movie multiple times to properly evaluate its purpose, I truly began to understand the complexities of life. Of people. Of each story weaving in and out with other stories to create a tapestry that is chaotic and beautiful, even if at times tragic and incomprehensible.
There have been moments I’ve wanted to throw up my hands and say this world is too crazy, I want my tropical island, and I’m finished blogging. Even sometimes finished writing. But then I’m standing in line at the Apple Store and see an elderly man being mentored by a twenty-something Apple geek on how to work his iMac. I can’t help but smile. Smile that even though things change and get messy and hardly ever make any sense, people keep going and they keep finding the good.
So I’m still here typing away, brainstorming my next ramble, and I am lucky enough to keep finding the good in all the noise.
I hope you continue to join me.
All images found via Pinterest